Ian, originally uploaded by bkmanhole.

sometimes i wonder things that i cannot put to words or expression, let alone find a visual that is associated with it.

i think in essence i am an inside myself kind of person. i used to use the line "i live my life between my ears" to describe myself. but lately, i've tagged on an extra bit that goes "but not so much lately..." on reflection, that part of me that lives between my ears has always been there and the only change being that it's been almost 4 years of me living my life with someone else.

since then, ive blogged less and even impressed upon myself the thought that i dont think nearly as much as i used to. but something clicked this evening that perhaps has me rethinking.

i think deep down i wish that someone just "got it" and understood me. but thats a heavy burden to put on anyone. i'm a rather closed individual, who... when given the chance will revert into my mind where no mind reader has the skillset to venture.

not only am i a closed book, i dont carry myself well at all. i often have the wrong expression that very rarely reflects my inner contemplation.

i think about the last couple days and how happy they have been despite the endings to each of my days. - i can't wait till it is finally "forever". and in forever there is plenty of time for someone to finally "get" me. i'm determined.

and (of course) along the way. hopefully i can fix how broken i am.